Endless advice is available claiming to teach adults how to raise well-adjusted children.  The best is based on longitudinal research and supported by programs proven effective in the real world.  However a few generally agreed-upon points are worth noting when it comes to forming healthy parent-child relationships.  These include:

1. •Maintain an authoritative as opposed to authoritarian or permissive stance towards children.
   

2. •Provide predictability, structure, consistency, and routine in order to help children know what's expected of them, especially in the early years.
   

3. •As children mature, increasingly include them in family decision-making and give them more responsibility.
   

4. •Treat discipline as an opportunity for children to learn natural, real-world consequences for behavior.
   

5. •Use encouragement to shape children's behavior rather than either conditional, positive rewards or negative reinforcement and punishment.  If you do use rewards, the most valuable ones are quality time and attention from you as a loving parent.
   

6. •Listen empathically to what children say when they’re young so that, as they enter their pre-teen and teen years, they'll be more likely to discuss the more complex challenges they face.
   

Children with special needs face unique challenges because other children may not always understand or accept them.  According to the NYU Child Study Center, over 15 million children and adolescents (nearly 20% of youth ages 9 to 17) suffer from a diagnosable psychiatric disorder.  When a child experiences chronic difficulties as a result of his or her thoughts, feelings, or behavior, psychological treatment is strongly recommended to reduce the likelihood of later life problems.

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Wylie Goodman, Psy.D.  .  900 Broadway, Suite 403  .  New York, NY  .  10003  .  917.601.5010  .  consult@east-westpsychotherapy.com

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